How many of you would call yourself a ‘feminist’? Have you ever heard a man label himself as one? It’s an interesting question, don’t you think? I had a discussion about feminism with a young guy at my work recently, about how he thought most people were for female equality, but wouldn’t use the word as an adjective to describe anyone he knew.
Feminists at work! © Lindsay O’Donnell
How many of you would call yourself a ‘feminist’? Have you ever heard a man label himself as one? It’s an interesting question, don’t you think?
I had a discussion about feminism with a young guy at my work recently, about how he thought most people were for female equality, but wouldn’t use the word as an adjective to describe anyone he knew. In his eyes, it has become a word that represents an ‘extremist’, someone who burns their bra and complains about every menial thing because it demeans women. Basically, he said, being ‘a feminist’ wasn’t a compliment or something you’d want on your Linkedin page.
The conversation has stayed with me ever since because I think his opinion represents the majority, and sadly it’s made me live up to the cliché by pissing me off.
The more I think about the term ‘feminist’ and the feminist movement, the more I think that we’ve regressed. Ladies, what the hell has happened?
The dictionary defines feminism ‘as the doctrine advocating social, political, and all other rights of women equal to those of men.’ So how is it possible that anyone of any gender would be embarrassed to label themselves as one?
Here is my humble and extremely simplistic opinion of how we got to where we are today from the roaring ‘60s of bra burning:
After the passion of that decade subsided and some real headway for women was achieved, opponents used a tried and true tactic: brand them as extremists. And I think it’s working. How many have an image of feminism or know someone that associates the term with ‘crazy’, ‘irrational’, or ranting and raving about female inequality. Nobody wants to date, be friends with, or hire someone like that. Right?
It’s a fine line we women have to walk. Acceptance is a part of being happy, but how do we stay firm on equality while being accepted in the mainstream?
Any animal or environmental activist will tell you that they constantly fight the same battle. What image comes to mind when the word “animal rights activist” is used? For many it’s an extremist. But arguably ANYONE who cares about animals, and fights IN ANY WAY for their well being – and that may be by volunteering at their local animal rights shelter – is an animal rights activist. The diversion tactic, whether we’re talking about animal rights activists or feminists, is so effective because the original message, objective, or argument can be swallowed, or dismissed, by this unfair stereotype.
Sadly I think as women we’ve mistaken empowerment with sexual objectification and sexual empowerment with power, as eloquently discussed by Dr. Heldman in this TED Talk.
I think we’ve made other mistakes as well – for example, by owning and using words like ‘bitch’, ‘slut’, or even ‘ho’ we’ve only made feminine slander commonplace and acceptable. We don’t really use the term ‘that’s gay’ anymore because we’ve realized that associating it with negative connotations is destructive and harmful to gay rights and equality. Although associating female adjectives with weakness or superfluous doesn’t seem to resonate as easily, it is just as harmful and counterproductive to women’s rights.
It’s not completely our own doing; we’re working against carefully crafted media messaging and constant reinforcement from society that this behavior is acceptable, celebrated, and normal.
Luckily, feminism is not dead. In fact my personal heroes like Tina Fey, Hilary Clinton, Amy Poehler, Ellen DeGeneres, and the writers at Jezebel, continue to make astute observations about our behaviors and publicly question gender roles in our society without being the stereotypical woman ranting and raving with a flaming piece of underwear. I think women and men continue to make amazing progress in social expectations, labels, and gender stereotypes.
But I also think that it’s critical that we take back the word ‘feminist’; otherwise it will be used against future progress. Therefore, I would like to conclude by saying: my name is Lindsay and I am a feminist!
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